721002 - Amara Jivana with Purport - Los Angeles

Āmāra Jīvana, "The Way of Refuge" -- From Śaraṇāgati by Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura

Song - Gold Series CD 8 Track 3

(1)

āmāra jīvana, sadā pāpe rata,

nāhiko puṇyera leṣa

parere udvega, diyāchi ye koto,

diyāchi jīvere kleśa

I am an impious sinner and have caused others great anxiety and trouble.

(2)

nija sukha lāgi', pāpe nāhi ḍori,

dayā-hīna svārtha-paro

para-sukhe duḥkhī, sadā mithya-bhāṣī,

para-duḥkha sukha-karo

I have never hesitated to perform sinful acts for my own enjoyment. Devoid of all compassion, concerned only with my own selfish interests, I am remorseful seeing others happy. I am a perpetual liar, and the misery of others is a source of great pleasure for me.

(3)

āśeṣa kāmanā, hṛdi mājhe mora,

krodhī, dambha-parāyaṇa

mada-matta sadā, viṣaye mohita,

hiṁsā-garva vibhūṣaṇa

The material desires within the core of my heart are unlimited. I am wrathful, devoted to false pride and arrogance, intoxicated by vanity, and bewildered by worldly affairs. Envy and egotism are the ornaments I wear.

(4)

nidrālasya hata, sukārye virata,

akārye udyogī āmi

pratiṣṭha lāgiyā, śāṭhya-ācaraṇa,

lobha-hata sadā kāmī

Ruined by laziness and sleep, I resist all pious deeds; yet I am very active and enthusiastic to perform wicked acts. For worldly fame and reputation I engage in the practice of deceitfulness. Thus I am destroyed by my own greed and am always lustful.

(5)

e heno durjana, saj-jana-varjita,

aparādhi nirantara

śubha-kārya-śūnya, sadānartha-manāḥ,

nānā duḥkhe jara jara

A vile, wicked man such as this, rejected by godly people, is a constant offender. I am such a person, devoid of all good works, forever inclined toward evil, worn out and wasted by various miseries.

(6)

bārdhakye ekhona, upāya-vihīna,

tā'te dīna akiñcana

bhakativinoda, prabhura caraṇe,

kore duḥkha nivedana

Now in old age, deprived of all means of success, humbled and poor, Bhaktivinoda submits his tale of grief at the feet of the Supreme Lord.

---

Purport - Gold Series CD 8 Track 4

Āmāra jīvana sadā pāpe rata nāhiko puṇyera leśa. This is a song sung by Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura in Vaiṣṇava humbleness. A Vaiṣṇava is always meek and humble. So he is describing the life of the people in general, taking himself to be one of them. The people in general are like the description given here. He says that "My life is always engaged in sinful activities, and if you try to find out, you will not find even a trace of pious activities. Only full of sinful activities. And I am always inclined to give trouble to other living entities. That is my business. I want to see that others are suffering, and I enjoy." Nija sukha lāgi' pāpe nāhi ḍori. "For my personal sense gratification, I do not care for any sinful activities. That means I accept any kind of sinful activity if it is satisfactory to my senses." Dayā-hīna swārtha-paro. "I am not at all merciful, and only I see to my personal interest." Para-sukhe duḥkhī. "As such, when others are suffering I become very happy, and always talking lies," sadā mithyā-bhāṣī. "Even for ordinary things I am accustomed to speak lies." Para-duḥkha sukha-karo. "And if one is suffering, that is very pleasant to me." Aśeṣa kāmanā hṛdi mājhe mora. "I have got lots of desire within my heart, and I am always angry and falsely prestigious, always puffed up with false pride." Mada-matta sadā viṣaye mohita. "I am captivated in subject matters of sense gratification, and almost I am crazy." Hiṁsā-garva vibhūṣaṇa. "My ornaments are enviousness and false pride." Nidralāsya hata sukārje birata. "I am subdued, or I am conquered by sleep and laziness," sukārje birata, "and I am always averse to pious activities," akārje udyogī āmi, "and I am very enthusiastic to perform impious activities." Pratiṣṭha lāgiyā śāṭhya-ācaraṇa, "I always cheat others for my prestige." Lobha-hata sadā kāmī, "I am conquered by greediness and always lusty." E heno durjana saj-jana-barjita, "So I am so fallen, and I have no association of devotees." Aparadhi, "Offender," nirantara, "always." Śubha-kārja-śūnya, "In my life, there is not a beat of auspicious activities," sadānartha manāḥ, "and my mind is always attracted by something mischievous." Nānā duḥkhe jara jara. "Therefore at the fag end of my life, I am almost invalid by all such sufferings." Bārdhakye ekhona upāya-vihīna, "In my old age I have no other alternative now," tā 'te dīna akiñcana, "therefore by force, I have now become very humble and meek." Bhaktivinoda prabhura caraṇe, "Thus Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura is offering his statement of life's activities at the lotus feet of the Supreme Lord."