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700206 - Letter to Prabhus from Gargamuni

From Vanisource

February 5/70

1975 South La Cienega Boulevard Los Angeles California

From: Gargamuni


Dear Prabhus,

Please accept my humble obeisances.

By the grace of Upendra Prabhu, he has given me his lotus notebook which contains nectar-like pastimes of Srila Prabhupada. So I am just trying to dictate from this notebook as far as I can read the writing. I think these informations will help us to increase our Krishna Consciousness and devotional service to Srila Prabhupada.


“At long last Lord Krishna has let me have my desire. I am again at our beloved Prabhupada’s Lotus Feet as of December 29, 1969. All my hedonistic tendencies have made it hard to adjust to Prabhupada’s Ways and His Desires. I am so fallen and at this time I am experiencing a ‘spiritual dryness’ even though I am in the fountain of bliss. May Lord Nityananda save me from my lusts.

The first meal I prepared for Prabhupada was ‘first class’ and this pleased me, but I must realize I am doing nothing, as it is all Prabhupada’s doing. He asked me if I had any doubts that I could put questions before Him one after the other. I asked Prabhupada later how I might keep from getting ‘puffed up’, being that I am serving you directly. Prabhupada said, “Yes. Intimacy breeds contempt, so we must be careful.” Krishna says Acharya is Me. We should always think like that without ceasing. Of course, all work is equal in Krishna Consciousness, but you were doing better work when you were in Seattle spreading Krishna Consciousness. So we should think, what is the thing that is most helping the cause. Serving the Spiritual Master is serving the Cause. Prabhupada said, ‘what are your plans?’ I answered ‘right now, serving you was the best for my Krishna Consciousness, so I should like to remain as personal servant.’ Prabhupada said, ‘Alright’.

I am not fixing the rice properly. It’s too hard! A little more than twice as much water on very low flame. Prabhupada saw the Deities clothes had been changed and complimented how Krishna looks so nice. He bowed down before the Altar. Prabhupada’s room is very nice with elaborate paintings, altar and flowers. He likes flowers, especially on His head, pressed. Prabhupada says, ‘this sandalwood paste will relieve blood pressure symptoms.’

I didn’t take bath one morning but Prabhupada said I must attend Artik anyway. After Artik, when Prabhupada says the prayers to the Disciplic Succession, He speaks very, very low, drawn, and trance-like.

I told Prabhupada about how nice Mahapurush spoke at Kirtan. He was pleased so much and said, ‘Yes, that is so.’‘If you simply render some sincere service everything will come. It is all there in the heart. Just like a man and woman. Previously there was no sex-life, but when they came together automatically sex-life develops. So we have to make the circumstances favorable—devotional service. When Krishna sees this person is sincere He will dictate from within.’ I found out Prabhupada likes condensed milk and brown sugar preparation. When I cleansed His eating place, I took his plate out, I ran to get a cloth to wipe clean His place and grabbed an altar article to place back on the altar. He scolded me severely for such a blunder. For what purpose am I cleansing His place if I go and touch something dirty and the something clean? I was completely at a loss and felt wasted, but Prabhupada’s mercy is in every form. He said it was not my fault because from the very beginning I was not trained like that, but now I must learn and teach others the same. I asked Him what ‘tandab nritya’ meant. Prabhupada said, ‘Lord Shiva dances and all the Universes burn in fires.’ He asked ‘would you like that?’ I said, ‘No’, that the fire of my own lust is enough.’

In material life, the highest pleasure is sex-life, yet there are so many impediments. When Krishna was present he married 16,000 wives with no impediments – was He not supreme? If one studies the Krishna Book carefully, He can see that Krishna is Supreme. We should not enter into comparative discussions with other religions, it will only create problems. We should say, that the best religion is that religion which develops our dormant Love of God! Ritualistic performance will always be different, but what is ritual without knowledge and Love of God? We must be concerned with the main thing – Love of God.