750916 - Letter to Ramesvara from Harikesa
September 16, 1975
Dear Ramesvara Prabhu;
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Actually by this time you must be sick of getting letters from me but this time it is actually required. I have been trying in all kinds of subtle and tricky ways to bring up the point that the press is very much desperate for work to keep the machine rolling, but I must say it has been very very difficult because Srila Prabhupada just didn’t want to do it due to the need for him to manage due to the complete lack of brain here. So I very carefully sent little hints and messages etc. to Srila Prabhupada and finally he got very angry and said, “Who is he to tell me to translate more, all he does is move his fingers and listen (he was wiggling his fingers in the air at that time in a funny way) he does not have to think, Does he think I work like that? That I simply move my fingers and the books come out? I am not a machine. This part of the Bhagavatam is very difficult and requires intense concentration and thought. It is not so easy as he thinks”.
At this point I was ready to take that last journey to Goverdhana but I thought let me go beg his forgiveness for my offence. So I went up to the roof and paid my obeisances and said my feeble excuses and explanations, but I couldn’t finish because Srila Prabhupada had on the biggest smile in all three worlds and was laughing. He said “That’s all right, of course, it is good.” And just now is working in the day also on the 7th canto downstairs and upstairs at night he is finishing the 6th canto very quickly. His voice last night was like a machine gun with power. E very night I wake up at 1:30 or so when the translating begins due to the force. He is going very fast and picking up speed. Of course it isn’t all that much yet but I am very hopeful. But the point of my letter is to simultaneously chastise us for our disrespectful attitude to our spiritual master and at the same time encourage us to do what pleases him. Actually in this case it does not seem all that obvious as to what is the correct way of dealing rather intense sincerity is required in all communications to overcome the offences which we are bound to commit due to our inherent foolishness. Whenever I admit that I am a complete fool to Srila P he always seems very pleased, “Of course one must be a fool in front of his spiritual master, SCM was a fool in front of his spiritual master”. So please be very careful in your letters. Actually I have no right to even suggest to all you exalted souls at the BBT especially your good self who is very much a hero for all you have done to finally get the big mrdangam playing at the proper pace. I have all respect for your efforts and in my feeble way I hope to encourage you and all my very glorious godbrothers and godsisters who are working so hard at the press completely overshadowing my puny service although on the surface it may seem that the proximity to Srila Prabhupada is very desirable. Of course that may be true, but only the most fallen can get this position out of the sheer necessity otherwise what would a fool like me do anyway.
Upendra is definitely going to Fiji. Someone named Nava Yogendra has taken over as servant and Upendra is living in the brahmacary asram for practice. Brahmananda Swami is doing nicely and is trying very for to keep people out at the wrong times and Srila Prabhupada is becoming slowly less disturbed. We wanted to go to some solitary place but Srila Prabhupada said, “What is the use, even we hide away, then Tamal Krsna come and lodge a complaint against Jayatirtha and then he will come an him etc. I cannot retire fully. The establishment is too big.” Actually it is a fact that we may never become competent enough to replace Srila Prabhupada in the management. But somehow if we try to become sincere then the weighty problems will not disturb him so like all these personal conf—etc. If somehow these could be avoided that would be the only tangible encouragement for Srila Prabhupada to translate more. Actually the only thing which will really drive the point home is when the tapes Srila Prabhupada just finished a month ago are lying on his desk as a book. Then he will have to go faster. This was also brought up to him and he appreciated the position of the press that soon their blinding pace will have to stop and then what will all those devotees do? This actually is the clincher and there is no further need for talk, that fact is very apparent and is the most convincing argument.
By the way why hasn’t Gopi P sent me the indexes to the 3rd and 4th cantos yet? I have only asked for two months now. They are pretty important. Both verse and general. Next time there is some package or person coming. Vrndavana is magnificent and its too bad the whole press can’t move here to work. Imagine that? Maybe the editors and some typists could. Or maybe that’s just sentiment, anyway it’s an interesting idea.
I hope everyone is well and you are feeling happily engaged in the glorious service of the SPOG.
All glories to all of the devotees in SCM’s sankirtana movement.
Harikesa das brahmacary. PS- Nitai is going to stay in Vrndavana as a gurukula man – what happens to all that expense account money? I think I should take it for BBT usage==== [handwritten] Note: Srila Prabhupada made his 1st tape of 7th Canto but wouldn’t use the synonyms + trans – he said “It is not very helpful”– He did it like he always does. He said he will not use them in the future but wait till Nitai writes for details. Hkd